I know it has been a long time since I have posted a blog, and while I take another few days to compile a plan of what topics to cover for you guys, I thought it might be fun to publish some of my unreleased drafts from around the time I found out that I was pregnant! I hope they bring a smile to your faces as much as they did mine, they are wonderfully rambly and I think you can get a sense of how overwhelmed and excited I was.
So without further ado ... the blog post from the day after I found out I was expecting.
Wow, where do I even begin?
Today is the 21st of April 2016. I know this post won't be up for a few weeks, but I have so much going on in my mind right now that I needed somewhere to let it all out! It is no secret that I am certainly not the most patient of people, so keeping this little secret for the next few weeks will be so difficult for me! I am so overwhelmed with shock and joy that I just want to call everyone I know and share this with them!! So here it goes...
WE'RE HAVING A BABY!!!!
I am still very much in a state of disbelief and anxious to start the next chapter of this journey - but first let me tell you a little about how this all unfolded.
Before I continue however, let me just say - yes, I have taken many a pregnancy test over these past four months and every.single.one was negative! Having decided that we really wanted to start a family of our own last last year, the absence of that second line each time was even more devastating than the last, but I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and all good things come to those who wait. So wait I did.
After much deliberation, I finally booked to see my GP (yesterday) who once again did a pregnancy test, and once again the result was negative. After much deliberation, and knowing I was anxious to start planning a family - she decided to refer me for blood tests to see if there were any hormonal imbalances that needed attention - and that was that for my appointment bar a quick chat about my general anxiety and stressed out personality.
Yesterday evening (20th April) around 7pm I received a phone call from the clinic - which is generally very unusual! I was worried that maybe they had to cancel the blood tests, growing more concerned when I realised it was Shane's phone they were actually calling! Shane was driving at the time, so I answered the phone and to my surprise it was the doctor that I had seen earlier in the day. What followed next was a complete blur!
She told me that she had left the pregnancy test on the counter and had checked it again as she was tidying. "Mrs Brady.." she said. "Congratulations are in order, the test is positive!".
I was awash with emotion. She was still talking on the end of the line about next steps, and second tests and scheduling prenatal appointments and all I could think was "stay calm, or Shane will end up in a ditch"! I felt awful downplaying it when I just wanted to jump up and down with excitement, kiss my husband and tell him I feel more filled with love for him then I have ever felt! Instead - compose yourself Amy - "Thank you so much for letting me know, I'll see you tomorrow" and I hung up the phone.
I could tell instantly that Shane suspected something. He asked if I was okay, and I made up some story about needing to go in for a pre-blood checkup examination thingy tomorrow. He didn't seem overly convinced, but one of my husbands most wonderful traits is that he is wonderfully trusting and supportive of me.
The drive home was torture and although a mere 10 minutes, felt like an eternity. I just wanted to tell him and have it out there. I knew that if I kept it hidden and tried to do one of those cutesy surprise announcements - it would never work (as I mentioned - I am way too impatient)! I decided on the drive home to tell him when we got in.
Home and parked, and when he finally stopped messing around with his car, I turned down the volume on the radio and turned to him. I asked if he wanted to know the real reason why the doctor called me. He looked at me panicked, worried that something was wrong. "She called to tell me that you're going to be a Daddy" I said, and before I had finished the sentence I welled up. The last time I seen a smile as genuine and heartfelt from Shane was our wedding day! I could tell he was going through the same huge influx of emotions I had felt, and he leaned over to kiss me! He was in complete disbelief! He just kept saying wow and smiling. I don't think it was any more possible to love him more than I did in that moment. We have been together for so long, and always talked of a family - but his reaction was so genuine and so sweet - it completely blew me away.
We decided not to talk too much about it, as the doctor had asked that I go back today for a second test since there is always a small chance of a false positive in instances where the result changes. Shane didn't want to get my hopes up, and we tried to stay calm and collected - occasionally making remarks about what we would need to start planning etc. As the night wore on however, I felt myself getting incredibly anxious. The fact I haven't had a regular cycle in so long meant there was no sure fire way to tell how far along I was, I started to panic about the repercussions of not knowing I was pregnant and if any of my activities, diet etc would affect the baby! Shane (being his usual wonderful self) comforted me and told me not to worry about anything - that everything would be fine, but my anxious mind was still ticking away.
Then, I messaged one of my best friends Sinead - as we often do - checking in every few days with each other. A few weeks ago - she had told me that she was going to see a psychic and asked if I would like to go along. I declined at the time, but told her I was excited to hear what the psychic had to say to her. I had completely forgotten that she had gone that day, and when she told me she had it was a welcome distraction to let her tell me what had been said. This is where the story gets strange. Amongst the general things, Sinead had said that psychic had talked about her friends to her. Without giving other peoples personal business away let's just say that of our motley group of four - the psychic for all intents and purposes detailed to Sinead the major life changes we were currently going through. Sinead was then able to pinpoint who each person was because these changes were actually occurring - the only one she said hadn't happened yet (to her knowledge) was the "friend having a baby" which she said was more than likely about me - being that my want to start a family has been no secret. What she said next floored me. Sinead told me that the psychic told her to tell me "not to worry, that everything will go well". I burst into floods of tears and ran out to Shane who almost fell over the kitchen table running for me! I showed him the message (he is very sceptical of psychics and he dismissed it) but I couldn't help feel incredibly overwhelmed - especially since all I had spent the evening doing was worrying about the welfare of my unborn baby - and anxious to organise a scan or something that would tell me he/she is okay! I felt it was much more than coincidental that Sinead had been told that one of her friends would have a baby the very DAY I found out that I am pregnant!
I'm a stage now where I am lying on my bed, trying to make sense of these thoughts! Maybe I'll come back to this a little later in the week!